Cheese, glorious cheese!

Cheese is amazing stuff. Born of the need to preserve and use excess milk, cheese packs a lot of flavor and nutrition in a small package.

Not to bore you, but cheese comes in 3 basic classes: Young, veined, and aged. The same cheese might be available in all three, in fact.

Young cheeses come in a broad range from Crème fraîche and yogurts to Chevre's, real mozzarella, and Monterrey Jack. Generally sweet, with a lot of sugar left in the milk, they are generally served as is.

Veined cheese have been aged for a broad range of ages, but all of them have been spiked with a culture to create a mold vein through the cheese. Blue cheese and Camembert are two examples. These generally are pungent, salty and bold.

Aged cheeses are nutty, complex and flavorful. Parmesan,  Asiago, Emmental (Swiss) cheese, etc. This is a broad class, and would include a decent aged cheddar like Tillamook. 

Processed or "American" cheese, creme cheese, cheese in a can, string cheese... are cheese like foods. Yes, you can eat them if you like, but don't torture anyone with them. Keep them for watching Sam Remi movies.

Cheese is very flexible, it can serve a wide variety of roles: condiment, ingredient, appetizer... dessert.

Wait, desert?!

Sure. Fruit and cheese plates are widely offered as an alternative to a very sweet dessert. Typically young cheese are best for this, but some aged cheese could fit right in too.

Chevre is a easy one. Widely available and similar to a "creme cheese" except is not so lifeless, with a pleasant tangy bite. This young goat cheese comes in a million different varities and can be herb coated, fruit added, wine added... but stick to a plain one at first

Laura Chenel Chabis Plain Goat Cheese is the place to start and available everywhere. A little of this spread on a french baguette circle and some fresh berries is a real treat!

Bree is another good one,  spread on the same sort of baguette with perhaps a little (local, flavored?) honey drizzled on it. 

A nutty Asiago with crisp green apple slices is another good combination.

Figs, dates, dried fruits like apricots and fresh fruits like pears are also good combos.

Nuts like Almonds, pistachios and others can also be added to the mix. 


Mix and match, don't use more than 3 cheeses and accompanying fruits, nuts, or sweetners.

A good stand alone is just fresh ripe berries drizzled with Crème fraîche. Maybe a little sugar over the berries to sweeten it.

2 or 3 ounces goes a long way, and good cheese is sort of expensive if you are buying it by the pound.

Find a cheese counter at a place like Henry's or Whole Foods, they will gladly let you taste anything, and have some good suggestions for what goes good with the cheese.

To recap:

3 cheeses of 2 or 3 ounces.

3 accompaniments.Fruit, nut, etc.

Baguette slices, optional.

Small plates and bowls.

15 to 20 min prep time. 

Cost: Variable,  $15 to $30, depending on how much cheese you get and seasonal variable costs on fresh fruit.

There you are, you have a solid appitizer and a dessert that have some overlap, and take less than 30 minutes for both of them. I will move on to a side dish as soon as we cover another important kitchen tool: the oven and stovetop.

Mac the Knife

Ok, we are going to get into a more serious tool discussion: Knives.

Let me say that a fine knife is a beautiful thing. Even if you have a number of crappy ones, treat yourself to one good, reliable, sharp, quality knife.

So I just threw out four qualifiers there, so let me take them one at a time.

A Few Good Knives

What makes a good knife? That is sort of a combination of things, and it is personal. Are you a big guy with meaty fingers than can grab a basketball single handed? Are you "fun sized" with a watchmakers fine fingers?  Are you average?

Each of those is going to determine what you are looking for in a handle. The best way is to try a few out, and Williams Sonoma is a place where you can do that. They even have classes on knife skills. Take one! It will save you a lot of hassles.

Whole Foods sometimes offers these as well, try it out. Don't be pressured to buy, but if you find one you like, go for it.

Reliable

That means it is fully tanged and made of good steel. Not stainless, and not high carbon. Stainless will not hold a good edge in most cases, and carbon steel is difficult to maintain, although it is the best steel out there in my opinon.

Riveted handles, plastic not wood... wood requires care.

Sharp

It should hold a good edge. How good? Shave your arm hairs with it good. Get a sharpening steel and use it, and then take it to a professional if you can't keep it sharp with the steel. Alternatively, learn to use a real sharping stone, not some As Seen on TV wonder that sharpens by drawing the blade through a wheel. Even reputable makeers like Wusthof offer such devices... I think they suck.

Quality

Wusthof, Shun... any number of good knives are available. Heck, even some of the ones you can get from a proper restaurant supply are quality knives, if not very pretty. They were designed to be workhorses, and the money went in the blade.

J.A. Henkle was a very good brand, and still makes some good knives, but also makes crap. Crap like serrated "ever sharp" knives. Don't be fooled, serrated knives are an excuse for poor blade quality and they cannot be sharpened at home. Avoid them.

Type of Knives

Knives come in 4 basic shapes:

Cleaver
Chef's knife
Boning knife
Paring knife

Everything else is just noise, and really, the one you need for your one quality knife is:

The Chef's knife

A butcher can do the work of the cleaver for you until you acquire one, and the Chef's knife can be pressed into service for light cleaver work.
Same with the Boning work: buy it boned or use the Chef's knife. It will be harder, but it can be done.
The broad blade of the chef knife means you can choke up on it a little and pare things with it... but a decent paring knife is only $10 for a ceramic one.

You have two options for the Chef's knife: the classic 10 inch French Chef's knife we all know and love. Staple of cooking shows and horror movies alike.
Or you have a relative newcomer in the US: the Japanese Santoku.

This Japanese variation is in my opinion a more flexible blade and good for the wide variety of tasks facing the average home cook. It has a lighter, thinner blade that is great for cutting 5 lbs of onions for French onion soup, Mirepoix for a stock, or cleaning string beans.

It is shorter too, coming in 6 to 8 inches, instead of the larger 10 to 12 inches of a french chef knife. For me that translates to a faster blade speed and more maneuverability.  The blade is narrower and more flexible, so there is less effort cutting through foods.

The trade off is dealing with big foods, like an acorn squash or a large melon become nearly impossible to cut cleanly. Cracking through a whole chicken's breast bone and back is no joke either. A big 10 inch blade will give you more weight and blade strength for a tough job.

But guess what? I cut a lot more onions, tomatoes, and small fruits and veggies than butternut squashes and chicken, so my go to blade is the Santoku. It is not the size, boyo, it is what you do with it. Or so I have heard....

I have two on my magnetic knife bar. One is a real Japanese Santoku, hand forged by a master craftsman. It is a work of art, constructed like a Samurai Sword and even has the unique Hamon created at the junction of the super sharp cutting steel and the wrought iron backing.
It is also a workhorse. I can chop all day and the single edge will stay razor sharp and glide through tough fibrous foods like celery as if it was warm butter. The light blade and shock absorbing iron spine means I won't fatigue my hand either.

The Watanabe is stunningly sharp, and glides through food with amazing effortlessness... it is also a pain in the ass to maintain. Failure to clean and dry the knife immediately means flash rusting, and cutting onions will require a little buffing with Barkeeper's afterwards. The sulfuric compounds give a surface discoloring no matter what you do.

It will also likely outlast me if I take care of it. Might even outlast my son if he inherits it.

The other Santoku is a Wusthof Classic. It is reasonably priced, versatile and sharp enough for most jobs: Chop, rinse and wipe dry, back on the magnet bar. The hollows ground in the blade means food will not stick to the blade (as much) as you cut and the thinly sliced tomato will fall away cleanly. It sees as much usage by the lady of the household as myself because it is easy to clean and not quite as sharp.

Never put a blade in the dishwasher, but it won't hurt the Wusthof. The Wantanabe's wrought iron blade backing will look like it was salvaged from the Titanic if you pulled that stunt, not to mention warping and cracking the bamboo wood handle.

The Wusthof and a sharpening steel is the way to go, for a hundred bucks you have knife that you will be reaching for for a long time. A life time blade? Possibly, if you do not abuse it.

Care and feeding of a Knife

Storage

 If you buy a set, it will come with a knife block. Nothing wrong with a knife block, it is a safe and sane way to store your knives. It hides the blade too, and does nothing to show case one of the bigger investments you have in your kitchen. Finally, it takes up precious counter space.

Think outside the block and get a magnetic bar that can be mounted on a wall, inside a cabinet door, or even horizontally under a cabinet. It will show off that sexy Shun water blade you splurged on with that too-small-to-stick-in-savings bonus you earned at work or birthday money from your rich Auntie Mame.

Cutting Boards

The cutting board has two main functions: The primary is providing a sterile, portable, and cleanable cutting surface.

The second function is: it should also not screw up your knife if you use it.

So glass, marble, and hard acrylic or plastic are right out. They are easy to clean, but they also bend and break the knife edge, dulling it prematurely. Really tough call, because there are some stunning hand painted glass ones... but avoid them.

End grain wood boards are excellent, they are showy but will take some care. Regular oiling will keep it from cracking, splintering or adsorbing food odors. I really like these for a presentation and carving more than onion chopping. Definitely not dishwasher safe, however.

Bamboo boards are good, I own several. They are cheap, look pretty nice and are easy to maintain. Just like an end grain board, no dishwasher!

Finally, NSF (National Sanitary Foundation)  polyethylene boards are a good choice for utility and the can go in the dishwasher for the sanitation cycle. Get several sizes, they are cheap, and they easily go from counter to pot when dumping in ingredients.

They do chew up fast though, which is why they don't damage your blade. When you can notice the cuts, and they start to develop grunge in them that survives the dishwasher, throw them out. Bacteria now has a bastion set up in your board and it will sally forth, contaminating your food. Don't be cheap! buy new ones.

Holding a Knife and Testing for Fit

Hold the knife at the blade/handle area using a relaxed pinch grip. The thumb should press on the blade right about the place where the first knuckle is on the index finger, or maybe a little twords the second knuckle. The rest of the handle is in line with your straight or slightly bent wrist.

This is where hand size and fit come into play. Small hands might end up with the handle digging in the wrist area. A larger hand might get it in the heel of the palm or the pinch grip might come too close to the cutting blade. Try the Wusthof first, then try a Shun if it is too big. If it is too small.. look around at the options, big handled knives are not that common I am afraid. Mr. Wantanabe will make a longer or larger handle for you, if you can tell him what you want, but that is a last resort.

A single smooth down and forward push should cut through anything. Sawing means the blade is dull, pushing straight down and expecting it to cut means you are dull.

The sharpest blade is a blade in motion.

A little zen moment for you all right there. You are welcome.

Down in the microscopic level the blade is not so smooth looking, there are millions of tiny teeth. You push straight down and try and power through the food and they bend and break, if you are in motion they cut the food cleanly. That, and if it hits something hard while you are forcing to down into the food it is going to twist with all that force behind it, risking a bad cut.

That is the purpose of the sharpening steel: it re-aligns and unbends all those little teeth. Eventually too many teeth break and you have to sharpen it. The abrasive sharpening stones make new teeth and the knife cuts like new. Take it to a professional have it sharpened if you have never used a sharpener before, it will save you time and money to have it done right once a year. Those knives are an investment, and over grinding or rounding the bevel can ruin the knife or the temper on the edge. Don't be cheap and ruin your knives.

An overview of the correct cutting technique can be found here.:

Sometimes a video is worth a few thousand words.

Even better, go to one of William Sonoma's or Whole Foods free knife skills classes. Not only will you learn something, you might find someone to invite to dinner, right?

Never know, it might be "she's the one" next to you in that dorky apron.

Olive me... just take olive me...

The first recipe is an olive appetizer in case you did not guess.

But wait, you ask,what sort of cooking is involved with olives? None! Sweet huh?

We will need only one the tool I introduced: the refrigerator.

What else do we need?
4 or 5 types of olives, 2 ounces of each per person. That will be a generous portion, expect leftovers.
Small bowls plus a bowl to deposit pits or an "off" olive.
Cocktail napkins.
Small plate for each of you. (optional)
Shot glass or similar for toothpicks. Yes, they make olive forks, but please...single tasker.

Life is the Pits

The first thing about olives is.. they have pits. Even the "pitted" olives you will be most interested in might still have unpitted olives or fragments of pits. Warn your guests, and provide a bowl for the occasional pit if it must be disposed of during the appetizer course. 

Now, you can serve olives with pits if you like, but a pit is not a gracious thing to get rid of, so know your guest before you offer them as more than one or two options in a collection.

Fresh vrs Cured

Generally speaking, uncured olives are green, red, or brown. They can be yellow and even a pasty white in some cases. They will be less salty and more fruity to taste and very firm to the bite and more likely to have pits.
"Fresh" is a relative term here, all olives are cured to make them edible. But how far they are cured is the determining factor. Here are some examples that are available from Amazon, just as a reference point.

Fresh:

Castelvetrano. Bright Green and very fruity
Kalamata These also come cured, and are salty and slightly bitter, a good offset to the Castelvetrano
Gaeta Small brownish olives, fairly neutral in taste, a good balance between the two above


Cured olives will be briny or oily and will have a much more complex flavor. Most will have been pitted because the olive itself is softened and less firm so the pit is easily removed.

Cured:

Black olives Generic black olives. They are probably pretty good,
Kalamata Cured they are much sweeter and mild, but retain the briny bite

Most of the above are in absolutely ridiculous amounts from Amazon. A total of 3 or 4 ounces total is enough for a person and a selection of 3 or 4 different ones at 2 or 3 ounces each is perfect for two people. Enough to let someone decide that "this" one is their favorite and hog them.

Stay away from canned ones, and I prefer an olive bar over jarred olives. Jarred olives or ones in vacu-packs are good, but force you to buy in larger amounts.

Fortunately olive bars can be found at a good deli, as well as mainstream places like Trader Joe's, Henry's and Whole Foods, and at full service Supermarkets like Safeway or Von's. They are much more likely to be pitted or stuffed than whole. Often they are one price for any of the offered olives, so you can mix and match a few ounces of each instead buying a whole jar of them. Don't mix fresh with heavily cured, and beware of marinades making all the olives taste the same.
Added bonus: you can try before you buy! Look for provided toothpicks or ask for a taste.

Most places will have mixes or "salads" of olives that include peppers or onions, or even cheeses like feta or mozzarella mixed in. These are fine to replace one or two of the other options in a 4 or 5 olive group, but it should not be the only option. Looks like you are cheating and did not put any effort into it. Guess what? You did cheat and put no effort into it. She will notice.

Some places will have stuffed olives. This is not a bad idea, especially as they are by definition pitted. But I recommend staying away from the more aggressive combinations, like jalapeno or blue cheese stuffed. The overpowering nature of the stuffing obliterates the taste of the olive and it becomes a delivery package for the stuffing.   Almond stuffed is an awesome combination of flavor and crunchy texture, especially if they are stuffed with Marcona almonds!

If you are fortunate enough to have ethnic food markets in your area,  Mediterranean and even Russian or Arabic ones will often have a dizzying array of olives at very reasonable prices compared to Whole Foods. You need to be aware of what you are buying if you venture there, so consider it an advanced course in olive buying. Getting surprised by a sardine soaked olive because you can't read Greek is no fun.

Options

If for whatever reason the selection of olives is sparse, or not to your liking, or this is the second time and you want to mix it up, replace an olive choice or two with one of the following:

Grapes. Big crunchy ones, they will clean the palate between olives.
Pears or apples, sliced. Make sure they are ripe and crisply flavored.
Dried fruit: Dried apricots, figs, or dates are an excellent choice.
Almonds or other large nuts: Go light on the salting, they will give a nice texture balance.
Crackers: Not Saltines! Life is too short for bad crackers. Find ones that are handmade or at least don't look like they came from a box. Cracked pepper is a good choice, as is a rosemary or some similar herbs.  Just plain old salted is fine too.

Drinks

 Any good wine will do. A bright Pinot Grigio or a good Chianti is in order.

A martini or other dry cocktail would do well if she likes that sort of thing. (point in her favor if she does!)

A crisp light ale like a Pilsner, Peroni or even Stella Artois could be served. Not my favorite choice, but not a bad one.
 
Or just some sparkling water, like San Pellegrino or a light sparkling fruit juice made by the same company will go nicely. They make a whole line of lightly flavored citrus drinks. They are in cans, so keep a few on hand as an option to an adult beverage.

Entertainment Value

I have been talking "what", now let me cover why. First, there is little or no prep here. Get a few bowls, fill them with olives and open a bottle of wine. Done. Keep your powder dry for the main course.

Second, this is a really good barometer of her adventurousness with food. Does she dive right in with fingers? Does she go for the toothpicks? Does she ask where are the little black ones from a can that go on the ends of her fingers?

If she asks that last one totally sober, dump everything in the garbage and get that girl to the Justice of the Peace right now, you hit the jackpot! 
Nothing is a better indicator of happiness and a good self image than a little silliness. 18 years together, 15 married and my "she's the one" is still silly at the best moments... trust me on this one.

Which does not mean any of the other things is bad at all. If she keeps to the toothpicks you know she is not going to be a problem taking home to Mom, she is minding her Ps and Qs. 
If she uses her fingers, no worries there, she is not a fussy one and that goes a long way.
If she starts with toothpicks and moves to fingers, great! You have someone that is flexible and adapts.
If she then moves to feeding you olives, or asking to be fed... even better. Saddle up cowboy, you are in for a ride!

If she is polite and tries a few but shows no further interest... that's fine, maybe she is a little nervous and the olives don't agree with her stomach. Or maybe she does not like olives, so what? She tried them and that is what counts. 
Later, after the meal, ask. Even better, have a backup like a simple dip with bread or a cheese plate and see if that goes over better. I will cover those later.



If she refuses to even try them because she "knows she won't like them"... well, cut your losses mate, you rolled snake eyes. Be nice, be a gentleman through the meal, and say goodnight. You are the host, you must remain gracious, don't pressure her and for everyone's sake, don't look offended!

Girl's talk, and her reporting that you did not click or no chemistry is no big deal. Worse case scenario you might get a reputation for being a cook and a foodie and the next potential "she" might come looking for you!

Word spreading you were a jerk even though you were a good cook will only end up with Gordon Ramsey asking you out on date. 

*shudder*

Nobody wants that, eh?

The first tool: The Refrigerator

The most important tool you have in your kitchen is.... the humble refrigerator/freezer.

Well, maybe not so humble. A Viking or a SubZero is a testament to modern design and technology. But despite the incredible technology, it still has basically 5 zones:

Primary zones:
bottom shelf
middle shelf
top shelf
drawers
door

Each one has some special properties and when you get all your lovelies home from the store you want them to stay fresh and edible until you are ready to use them. 

The zones are organized by how cold or how long you want to keep things. If it very perishable, like that pair of never frozen rib eyes, it goes on the lowest shelf. It is also for hygiene, as that package might leak, and you don't want meat juice dripping downward. This is where you defrost that Australian lamb as well, letting it sit overnight in a tray to prevent the spread of bacteria laden juices.

Milk, mayo, eggs, etc go in the middle, they are perishable, but not so touchy as the bottom shelf. In the name of space, you could demote one or more of these down there, but this is rule: don't go up, go down.

Top shelf is for pre-cooked or preserved items, like leftovers, pre-prepped items for dinner, or deli meats and olives. You might have a special drawer for meats and cheese right off the top shelf, feel free to use it or chuck  if you need tall space for the middle drawer.

Next there is the veggie drawers, that is what goes in there. Easy. Except see the end for things that don't belong in the fridge at all, a lot of them would end up here.

Finally the door: this is for condiments, alcohol and anything else that is not necessarily needing refrigeration but benefits: jellies, jams, ketchup, soy sauce, balsamic vinegars, butter that needs to soften.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you put eggs here! They will be fresher in their original carton on the middle shelf, m'kay? Use the egg rack for a nice game of strip Mancala or something...

One last class of refrigerator items: Ones that don't belong there, but end up there anyway:

Onions: Unless they are diced up.
Potatoes. Makes the starch tough. keep away from onions where you do store them.
Uncut Tomatoes: Makes them mealy. Buy just enough for fresh use, it is worth it.
Honey: Makes it too thick to pour, requiring a no-no: Nuking the honey. Honey is antiseptic and a preservative, it does not need refrigeration.

One last note on the fridge: get rid of those plastic baggies you bagged it in at the supermarket when storing veggies. They don't let the excess moisture escape and that means mold and slime. Ick.
Use the green bags "as seen on TV", change them after 20-30 uses. Or, use Ziplocs, left open with a paper towel separating the layers.  I will do a whole section on storing things, don't worry, but this is the basics.

The freezer is much the same, but only 3 zones: back, front, and door.

The door is just like the fridge door, it takes stuff that does not really mind getting a little unfrozen: butter, frozen juice concentrate, frozen homemade stock, etc. Anything here is going to get exposed to significant temperature swings and a frozen veggie or meat will get freezer burned fast. Expect ice cream soup if you park it in the door area.

The other thing to remember: Freezers don't freeze. They keep things frozen.

That's right, it takes hours and hours for a room temperature food to get frozen to the touch, and the core might take a day. So you have to take that into account if you want to freeze something, like leftovers. Not only does it let get bacteria time to start up, the slow forming ice crystals cause structural damage, bursting cells in meat and plants, plus shredding starch links. Ick.

They need to be right in the top blast zone from the chiller output, single layered and spread out as much as possible. Won't be perfect, but it is a good start at keeping food poisoning at bay.

And in case it needed to be said: Don't refreeze. Freezing slowly damages the food and frozen then thawed is already traumatized in cell walls and starch structures. Refreezing is going to make it mush or paste. Also Ick.

In an Alton'ed State

There is a proliferation of cooking blogs, even plenty of cooking blogs for men... hell, they made a movie about a blogger blogging food... so art imitates life.

And then there is Alton Brown, who is my Julia Child if you will. His mix of practical kitchen science knowledge, humor, and history is not only tasty, it is interesting. I am a science geek, so it is no accident that the one book I own of his I purchased at the San Francisco Exploratorium, the original and best "learn by doing" science museum.

The second book in my arsnel, and really the one I go to first, is The Professional Chef, it is a wealth of information and practical recipes that will have you reaching for it too.

So why bother?

Well, both books are in the Too Long, Didn't Read category.  What you want is a targeted answer... like "She is coming over for dinner.. what do I do now?".

And because if you are lucky, she is not just any she, but the she in "She might be the one" she. So we don't wanna screw it up, yeah?

And two, you don't want to have to spend an entire day making it, because life is busy. Same with ingredients, you are not going to find clarified yak butter at the corner mart. Now maybe you need some special ingredients or spices that can be acquired ahead of time, but let's be reasonable, not all of us live next to Dean & Deluca.

(If you do, just buy it from them and heat it up. You will both be happier.)

And let's not forget, a lot of guys have a frying pan, can opener, and a knife that is unclear exactly where you got it from.. and is really a knife like object, not a real knife.

So I will cover some basic tools needed to do the job at hand, rotating between recipes/techniques and tools... or toys as the case may be.

So the basic criteria is:

I can get it within 15 miles providing I live near a reasonably large town or city.
If I can't, I can order it from Amazon and keep it until I need it, like spices.
It is not a specialized tool for just one job. Alton's rule of a fire extinguish being the only single task tool in the kitchen.
I can prepare it as part of a 4 course meal, appetizer/Hors d'oeuvre, salad or soup, starch and vegetable with the main course, and a dessert with less than 6 hrs prep for the whole deal. Cooking time is extra and may vary.
Showcase a technique or an ingredient that can be reused. 

That last one is important, because cooking is really a combination of techniques and keystone ingredients that make up a recipe. If you understand when and why, you can be creative and improvise as you go along. 

Well, I will get started on the first tool article, and I trust this will be fun for both of us.